Three Little Words

I'm sure Loic has told Laurence that he loves him before.  At least I think I'm sure.  Yes, I know I'm sure.  Then again...

I was putting the boys to bed tonite and as I leaned down to kiss Loic he said to me, "Bring me your ear really close, Mommy."  He doesn't ever use the word "secret" for some reason, and that's fine with me.  I stuck my head further into his little cave on the bottom bunk and he whispered, "Don't ever tell Laurence...but I love him."  I said, in what I thought was a whisper, "OK, I won't tell him, but if you want to, you could tell him yourself."  A little almost 8-year-old head suddenly peeks over the side of the top bunk, "Tell me what?"  Loic hesitated, then, "I can't tell you," and exploded with giggles.  Nervous ones.  I said, "It would be nice to tell him, Loic, and I bet you'd hear something nice back."  More giggles.  Laurence, laying back down, said, "You tell me, Mom," to which I replied, "No, Loic told me not to.  He'll tell you if he wants to.  Maybe tomorrow."  And I stood up to go.  But Loic, thru his giggles, pipes up with, "OK, I'll tell you, but you can't laugh at me."  Laurence said, seriously, "I won't laugh at you."  Loic again, "And you can't say 'awwwww.'"  "OK, I won't say, 'awwwww."  Lots more giggling.  By now I was standing in the doorway watching this all play out.  It was like the scene of a movie or something, and I got little butterflies in my stomach.   I could see Loic in the dim light shining in from the hallway and his face was all scrunched up and his mouth was twisting just so...and he was still giggling.  The suspense was about too much for me to bear, but he finally took a breath, stopped giggling, and said, "I love you, Laurence."  A quick glance up at Laurence and I saw a sweet smile spread on his face and he said, "Thank you, Loic.  I love you, too."  I quietly closed the door, my heart swelling, my eyes tearing up...amazing.

Did you ever notice how those three little words can be so hard to say when you really mean it?  It's true. Even when you're four.