O'Neil's Anatomy

There's always something fun and educational going on at Laurence's school, making for great conversation at our house. This week alone there was a rainforest assembly, complete with exotic animals, and a dairy association presentation, the highlight of which was the opportunity for the kids to "milk" a glove. I'm sure the presenters allow plenty of time for questions and comments, but Laurence always saves the best for me.

Last night he was studying a tiny plastic (and blue) cow that he received at the end of the dairy extravaganza...I mean really studying. You know, upside down. After a few minutes he says, "Mom, do cows pee milk? Out of their...teats?" I responded, "No, only their milk comes out of their teats." Laurence: "Well then how do they pee?" Me: "They have peeps (our word for it), just like all animals." Laurence: "But where are their peeps? I've looked and looked, and I don't see it." (Apparently this little cow of his is not anatomically correct.) Me: "Sort of in the back..." I trail off, seeing on his face that he's not going for my verbal explanation. So, I do the next thing that comes to my mind. "Eimer, come!" I command, and Laurence starts, "Mom, what are you--" "Just wait, you'll see." I have the dog lay down, which is still a struggle for her, being the dominant being she thinks she's supposed to be, and coax her onto her back. The professor in me comes out, and wishing I had one of those cool pointer things, I explain, "Now here are her teats, sort of like a cow's, but she's got more of them. If she had puppies, they'd get big, like a cow's. And back here, right between her legs is...." You get the idea. Behold, the curious young mind was satisfied. Way to go me! And the best part was that the dog wasn't even the slightest bit humiliated. But just now, as I'm typing this, I'm wondering how long it will take before someone in this house attempts to milk her...