The Things I'm Hearing These Days

I'm getting to that stage in my pregnancy where people, even perfect strangers, are taking delight in making comments about my freakishly large belly. I don't mind, really. I find it rather amusing, actually, and figured I'd make note here of some of the things I've heard of late...will make for some interesting reading someday once this baby is grown and starts asking questions about when he/she was in here. Let me also just state for the record that he/she is doing some strange rolling & nudging maneuvers under the right side of my rib cage at this very moment...

About 2 weeks ago we went to eat at our favorite local Chinese restaurant, where the owners have gotten to know us pretty well -- they are always welcoming & very friendly. This particular night we walk in and then wife flashes us a huge grin and says, "Oh, the baby is coming THIS month!" I said, "No, end of December..." She sort of does this sideways glance thing, checking out the rotunda and says, "But it's so BIG!" And so it began.

A day or so later my doctor confirmed that it's so BIG when I measured 38 centimeters at 32 weeks -- for those of you that don't know, at this stage of pregnancy centimeters are generally equal to the number of weeks, though measuring off by a centimeter or 2 is not unusual. Off by 6? Yeah, that's BIG. Doctor said, "Surely you've noticed...I mean that's a BIG jump in 2 weeks..." Well, now I've noticed, so thanks.

Saturday we were at Best Buy and a saleswoman approaches and says, "Any day now, girl!" I think I scrunched up my face or something because she said, "Right? I mean, when are you due?" "December 30th," I said. "Oh NO, girl. You're BIG! You're going long before then. Oh, and it's another boy," she said, tousling the blond hair on the 2 boys at my sides.

Just yesterday our errands took us to Lowe's where the very young salesman who was being ever-so-helpful, stopped dead during his speech about floor tile and exclaims, "Hey, would you like a chair!?! I can get you one from the desk! It's small, but if you'll be more comfortable...I don't want you to pop or anything." Oh, but popping in Lowe's sounds like fun, don't you think?

So that's it. For now, anyway. I've realized I should expect these comments daily from here on out. In fact I found myself a little disappointed that I didn't get any today...oh, except for from Laurence at bed time. He didn't embellish, just stated the obvious, "Mom, your belly is BIG. Good night."

When Clothes No Longer Fit

Laurence must have dug deep in the closet today, because he came downstairs with a shirt he hasn't had on in a LONG time. The shirt was hitting him right at the waist, bordering on too small, but it's a favorite so I couldn't bear to ask him to change. I tried to break it to him gently with, "I love that shirt, but it looks like we'll have to retire it soon." (This is what we call putting clothes away to hand down to Loic.) He said, "Oh, I hope not TOO soon -- I really like this one!" I said, "But soon we'll be able to see your belly button, and that would look pretty silly!" And his response: "Well, yeah, but that's how Dora's shirt is...you can see her belly button. And she doesn't even seem to care."

That's the Way God Made Us

I know, it seems like I just posted yesterday, right? But I couldn't let this one pass me by. Short and sweet...

Last night Laurence asks out of the blue, "Is the baby naked in your belly?" I had to giggle and said, "Yes, definitely." He said, "But why? Where are it's clothes?" I replied, "We'll put the baby in clothes when it comes out. Besides...where do you suppose the baby would get clothes in there?" He thought for a moment, and said, "Maybe there's room for a little dresser!"

O'Neil's Anatomy

There's always something fun and educational going on at Laurence's school, making for great conversation at our house. This week alone there was a rainforest assembly, complete with exotic animals, and a dairy association presentation, the highlight of which was the opportunity for the kids to "milk" a glove. I'm sure the presenters allow plenty of time for questions and comments, but Laurence always saves the best for me.

Last night he was studying a tiny plastic (and blue) cow that he received at the end of the dairy extravaganza...I mean really studying. You know, upside down. After a few minutes he says, "Mom, do cows pee milk? Out of their...teats?" I responded, "No, only their milk comes out of their teats." Laurence: "Well then how do they pee?" Me: "They have peeps (our word for it), just like all animals." Laurence: "But where are their peeps? I've looked and looked, and I don't see it." (Apparently this little cow of his is not anatomically correct.) Me: "Sort of in the back..." I trail off, seeing on his face that he's not going for my verbal explanation. So, I do the next thing that comes to my mind. "Eimer, come!" I command, and Laurence starts, "Mom, what are you--" "Just wait, you'll see." I have the dog lay down, which is still a struggle for her, being the dominant being she thinks she's supposed to be, and coax her onto her back. The professor in me comes out, and wishing I had one of those cool pointer things, I explain, "Now here are her teats, sort of like a cow's, but she's got more of them. If she had puppies, they'd get big, like a cow's. And back here, right between her legs is...." You get the idea. Behold, the curious young mind was satisfied. Way to go me! And the best part was that the dog wasn't even the slightest bit humiliated. But just now, as I'm typing this, I'm wondering how long it will take before someone in this house attempts to milk her...

What He Really Means to Say

Last weekend we dealt with a bit of a stomach bug in our house, but luckily only Loic really "dealt" with it. Unfortunately it started at a friend's house on Saturday night, creating an embarrassing and rather disgusting mess. Thank goodness for understanding friends with kids! The experience left quite an impression on Loic, for during the 3 days following the episode, at various times he would suddenly remember and, looking quite fretful, utter, "Icky throw up Babby's house!?" With a bit of reassurance that all is forgiven, he would go about his business, and he seems to have since forgotten all about it.

The morning after the spew-a-thon has clearly not escaped him, however. Upon waking Sunday morning (at 5:15, thanks to the time change) he was feeling pretty rotten so I did the only thing that seemed fitting. "You're a little sick," I said, and asked, "Want to take a bath?" He did of course, and perked up quite a bit. Luckily he was feeling almost back to normal by lunchtime that day, but that hasn't stopped him from using his short-lived condition in attempt to jump into another tub-full of bubbles every morning since, before 6 a.m. (no, somehow we still don't seem to be over the time change). It may seem like this would get old, but you see Loic is learning proper usage of pronouns ("I" vs. "my," for example), and has trouble with certain sounds, like many 2-year-olds do, substituting "d's" for "s's" in his case. So while what he's trying to yell each morning to wake me at 5:45 is, "I'm a little sick and I want to take a bath," imagine my grin from ear to ear when what comes out instead is, "My little dick...take bath!" No, this doesn't win him a bath each morning, but it does make it a little easier to get out of bed...of course I can't wait to hear what he attempts to say next.